At The Edge of Dusk
by Omoni
Summary: Now that the world is relatively at a stalemate, the four nations start to find some new and easier pace in their new lives. This includes making amends and meeting new people, as well as reuniting those who have been separated. Canon pairings.
1. Prologue

_Writer's Note: This hefty fic was written for Avatar Big Bang 2010 over on LJ, and now that it's done, I can finally post it here! Unlike there, I will be dividing it into chapters, just to save the eyeballs. This is probably one of the few fics I can honestly say I tried my ass off with, and I think it shows. So here it is!_

* * *

**Prologue**

Suki was the kind of girl who was always willing to give a second chance to anyone. She was always ready with the benefit of the doubt.

Mai was the kind of girl who guarded herself carefully, who gave only one chance that, if broken, was never given again.

When it came to each other, they found their roles, strangely, reversed. The air between them was tense, to put it mildly. It was a week after Ozai's downfall and imprisonment, a week of healing and reunion. With Ozai incarcerated and Azula held in an asylum, the Fire Nation was overcome with a sense of stunned and confused silence. The aftermath was so sudden, so startling, that all they could do was wait for some kind of sign that things were back on track once more.

But let's start at the beginning. Or rather, an end.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

Following his Agni Kai with Azula, Zuko's return to the Palace was a good first step towards order out of chaos. Although his first few days were spent in a hospital bed, when he awoke the third day and saw Katara – and not Mai – he was grateful, but felt a sense of confusion as well as regret.

Katara could tell. She also understood, but couldn't resist the urge to tease him about it. "Not the one you were expecting?" she wondered innocently, speaking as she gently cleaned his wound.

He made a face, both from the sting of pain and from her words. "You're very good at that guilt thing. I hope you're aware of that." His expression softened, however. "You know I'm grateful to you," he admitted. Katara looked up from her bandaging and smiled, nodding, as he went on. "I just... seeing her would have confirmed that she was okay. I just want to know for sure, you know?"

Katara's hands hesitated - just for a moment - but it was enough for Zuko to leap on, especially when a jolt of fear stabbed into him. "You've heard something?" he demanded.

"No," she answered, her face guarded. "But, Zuko – from what Sokka told me about your escape... She betrayed Azula for you. And Azula, even before then, was hardly the type to forgive betrayal..."

She trailed off when she saw his face. His unburned eye was wide, and his face was pale. "No," he whispered. "No, no." He shook his head slowly, his eyes unfocused. "I'm sure she's fine. She-she _has_ to be. Azula... she wouldn't... she _couldn't_..."

Katara bit her lip, busying herself with the bandage. Her silence, however, spoke the words she didn't loudly. Zuko covered his face and hunched over, his shoulders shaking. Carefully, she reached up and rubbed his back.

It had just never occurred to him that Mai would have been killed. It had never occurred to him that Azula would kill her. It had never crossed his mind, not even once, that Mai would ever lose a fight...

* * *

Mai's stay in the prison system was short compared to Ty Lee's. Azula wasn't foolish enough to imprison her on the Boiling Rock with her uncle, but she _was_ foolish enough to believe that that would make a difference to him.

Koryu, Mai's only uncle, the brother of her political father, was stubborn, headstrong and arrogant. He hated all criminals – that much was true – but he hated war prisoners even more, just for being stupid enough to become prisoners of war. He started his career in the military as the lowest guard of the dingiest prison in the entire Nation. It was his determination and grit that brought him higher and higher in the ranks, and he became warden at a relatively young age because of this.

Despite his devotion to his career, however, Koryu was never able to overlook his tiny, brooding and neglected niece in her childhood, and now was no exception.

He rapped his knuckles on the bars of Mai's cell. She looked up, her eyes unguarded and her face drawn with exhaustion. She had been in the prison for a month – it had taken him a long time to find her – and it showed. Her face was grey and her hair, her one vanity, was unkempt and messy.

"Uncle Koryu," she murmured, her voice uncertain, as if he was a phantom and not actually real.

"Open the door," he snarled at the guard beside him. The guard opened her mouth to protest, but a glare was all he needed and she obeyed, her moves jerky.

When the door opened, Mai stayed seated, her eyes wide and fixed on Koryu. He hadn't seen her this confused and distraught since she had heard that her mother was pregnant.

Slowly, he walked forward, holding a hand out to her, "Mai," he said softly. "You're free, now. Come out."

Mai tore her gaze away. She brought her knees to her chest, hugging her legs tight. "I betrayed Azula," she murmured, her voice flat. "You can't betray Ozai, too."

Koryu was startled. Mai had always called the Firelord by his title and not by his name - until now. Despite her neglected upbringing, she still had respect – love, even – for her nation's politics. Hearing this slip of the tongue was like someone setting a heavy weight on his gut.

He walked in and knelt down in front of her, shooting a glare at the guard to get rid of her (which worked). Mai looked at him, her face ashen and pale. He held out a hand again, and this time she placed hers in it. Her fingers felt like ice, and her nails were broken off and bloody.

"Mai," he repeated slowly. "You're my niece. Blood will always be thicker than politics. You know that."

She smiled a little. It was true, after all – he had been the one who had told her of Zuko's capture on the Boiling Rock, long before he had even considered telling the Firelord. Azula had only found out by spying on her.

"I'm... an idiot," she murmured, shaking her head slowly. "I've betrayed Azula – everyone - but..." her eyes slid to his, and she said the words that he loathed but – somehow - also understood. "I'd do it again. I love that stupid bastard, Uncle."

"Ugh," he winced, scratching at his forehead and pulling a face. She choked out a laugh, a small sound, and her eyes filled. She shook her head, lowering it to her knees, and her hand squeezed his.

Eventually, he was able to coax her back to the capitol. She stayed with him at his house that lay on the outskirts – his holiday home, since his real home was actually located within the Boiling Rock – as opposed to her family home; he wanted to ensure that Mai's recent freedom stayed a secret, lest he be forced to return her to prison.

For a while, all she did was eat and sleep. He had seen it in the past, with prisoners given sudden freedom after accepting their fates. Try as he might, he couldn't persuade her to do anything else, not even practise throwing her knives.

It was only when she heard – though he had no idea how, since he certainly hadn't told her – that Ozai had declared himself Phoenix King that she seemed to come back to life. The day she heard it, she emerged from her room, her eyes bright and furious, her hands hidden in her sleeves.

"Phoenix King," she spat, startling him out of writing his reports. "What a _fool_."

"Mai?" Koryu was bewildered.

Her eyes met his, and he was both startled and happy to see the old fire in her eyes. "The Avatar is _alive_," she continued, her words darts of poison. "And Ozai is_ ruining everything_."

"Mai," he tried to break in, but she cut him off.

"He had better be with them," she went on. "He'd better help. He'd better help them win and take Ozai down. _Or I'll kill him_."

_Zuko._ She was talking about Zuko.

"I'll help you kill him," Koryu replied with a grin. Mai smiled, the gesture reaching her eyes for the first time in _months_... and he knew she was going to be fine.

* * *

When Mai heard of Zuko and Azula's Agni Kai, Koryu was hesitant in offering details. "Yes, he's alive. But he was injured, and both Ozai and Azula were defeated – alive, but defeated. Going to visit him, in this moment of chaos, would be dangerous."

She didn't look at him, her fingers in her mouth. It shocked him. He had always thought she had broken that childhood habit years ago. Although he knew that she had taken it up again in the prison, he had thought that once she was free, it would cease. Seeing it now, out of nowhere, betrayed her feelings and displayed her desperation to be allowed to join Zuko.

"Mai," Koryu began carefully, sensing her waning patience. "You can't go yet. _I_ can't even go yet. Everything is being sorted out -"

"Every_one_," she snapped out. "You mean every_one_ is being sorted out. The loyal and the disloyal, the good and the damned."

Koryu opened his mouth, but again she cut him off. Her voice was suddenly soft. "I know," she whispered. "I know. I just _hate_ it."

Koryu nodded slowly. "Yes," he agreed. "So do I."

Mai blinked, lowering her hand from her mouth. "You, Uncle? _You_ hate it?"

He sighed, rubbing his forehead slowly. "I must be getting soft in my old age," he answered gruffly, and she smiled, but said nothing else. He decided not to elaborate.

* * *

When Mai and Zuko reunited, Mai led the way. Zuko was desperate to make amends, desperate to prove he loved her. Mai, despite her relief and her longing, was still anxious. She teased him, was honest with him and kissed him with all of her heart... but she was doubtful, scared, and deep down, she wondered...

_Why didn't you look for me?_

_Why didn't you try to contact me?_

_Do you love me as much as I love you...? _


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

When the dust settled and the lines were – metaphorically - drawn, there was a coronation to prepare for. Which meant, needless to say, that everyone had to come together, new and old allies, and plan for the future.

Which _also_ meant that Suki and Mai had to meet face-to-face for the first time since they fought each other in the Earth Kingdom.

Ty Lee was the only one whom Suki had decided to either just ignore or accept for now and deal with later. But Mai was a different story. Mai had not shared a cell with her Warriors. Suki's primary knowledge of Mai had come from having to fight her, Azula, and Ty Lee over possession of Appa. Anything else she knew about Mai had been from second-hand stories from Zuko on their travels together. The stories, however, were not enough for Suki – she couldn't forget that Mai had fought her, and _enjoyed_ it, on Azula's behalf.

Mai was desperate to lay the past to rest. Her time in prison and in her uncle's home had opened her eyes even wider, eyes that had first opened to Zuko's words and convictions for peace. She felt like a fool, like the puppet she had always feared becoming... except it was of Azula, and not of her parents, like she had always thought. She wanted to make sure that the Avatar – Aang – and his friends knew that she had changed, and was now loyal to their cause.

Aang had accepted her quickly enough. Katara, who just seemed happy that everyone was alive, merely looked at her coolly before nodding and smiling a little. Toph – the blind girl – had declared her honest but not very cheerful, and Sokka had screamed, hidden behind Suki, then tried to jab at her with his crutch... a crutch that Zuko promptly lit on fire as a result (which actually seemed like a pretty accepting welcome to her).

But Suki wouldn't budge. Even after an hour of amicable discussion, of a tour of the Palace and endless amounts of teasing Zuko on his upcoming ascension, only Suki stayed distant, meeting Mai's eyes with icy hatred.

Even though she didn't want to admit it, it _killed _Mai inside. Suki had accepted Ty Lee, hadn't she? Everyone else had accepted Mai. Why was Suki so different?

* * *

"Why?"

Mai's voice was hard, so hard that it startled Suki into jumping from surprise. That annoyed her, to be honest. It was _very_ hard to sneak up on her, but Mai had just _done_ it, _effortlessly_!

"I'm going to the bathroom," she answered sharply, stepping around the older girl. It was a lie – she had wanted to get some fresh air, but now she just wanted to get rid of Mai.

"No," Mai said, cutting her off and standing in front of her again. "No. Why?"

Suki met the gaze that was aimed at her, and saw that Mai's careful mask of blasé indifference was gone. In its place was a look of confusion and desperation. It stopped her. "Why, what?"

"Why?" The same question, but not the same tone. It was... sad, Suki realised. "Why do you still hate me? Even _Sokka_ accepts me as long as I keep my hands out of my sleeves." Her lips twitched, trying to smile, but it failed. "Why not you?"

"Why do you care?" Suki shot back. "You have what you want, don't you? You're out of prison, your boyfriend is the Firelord, and now you can bask in his luxury all you want."

Mai's eyes widened, looking both hurt and angry. Suki felt a stab of satisfaction at seeing that. "Isn't that how it was back then? Riding Zuko's robes as he was Crown Prince?" The older girl's cheeks went pink, but Suki went on. "But now that Azula is crazy, all you can do now is come crawling back to Zuko. Otherwise, where else would you go?"

Mai was speechless, her mouth a thin line, her yellow eyes wide and dark.

"So everyone else may trust you, but I know what you're about," Suki finished. "Don't forget it." She brushed past the other girl roughly, but Mai didn't move to stop her.

What stopped her was this:

"He... told you that?"

Suki froze, hating herself for stopping, but she turned around all the same. Mai looked half her age all of a sudden, her shoulders drooping. "He told you that?"

"Yeah," Suki admitted slowly. "He told me how when he came back, despite his betraying Aang, you welcomed him like he was a hero. And how all you did was encourage him to be lazy and do nothing when he could have been out there, making changes for the better."

"He said it... like that?"

Suki sighed. She was the kind of person who tried her best to be honest with everyone, even if they didn't deserve it. She had already lied to Mai once – there was no point in doing it further. "Alright, so he didn't say it _like that_," she admitted. "But it's true, isn't it?"

Mai nodded. "You're right, it's true. I welcomed him home because to me he _was_ a hero. I didn't know any better. But he wasn't _just_ a hero. He was..." She shrugged, looking helpless. "He was just_ Zuko_. My first love. A big dweeb. The boy I adored who was sad about betraying Iroh. I just... wanted him to have some kind of joy... a reason to smile."

"You... what?" Suki whispered, unable to keep her disbelief hidden.

Mai ignored the question. "Did you know that Azula wanted me to spy on him? She wanted me to manipulate him, make him forget about Iroh and the Avatar, and make him focus on Azula and Ozai and their plans. I agreed – of course I did – but... I was lying." She smiled sadly. "I was already smitten, all over again. I had betrayed Azula long before the Boiling Rock, Suki."

And suddenly, without even wanting to, Suki remembered what Zuko had told her about Mai...

_"Sounds to me like all she liked about you were the fruit tarts, Zuko," Suki sighed, rolling her eyes._

_It was their turn to keep watch, and what should have been an awkward silence was instead filled with amicable conversation._

_Suki liked Zuko – now, anyway. At first, it was hard to separate the ponytailed enemy from the desperate young man he was now, but once she realised how sincere he was – and how much he cared about Sokka, enough to put himself in danger for him – she realised it was hard _not_ to like him._

_And he liked her, too – enough to admit that he needed to talk to _someone_ about Mai. When Suki had suggested Sokka, he had made a face. "All he wants to talk about is sex," he answered, his unscarred cheek turning red, which made her laugh. "I need to talk about _more_ than that."_

_So he did. He told Suki about what it was like, seeing Mai again – what it was like to spend that private time with her. When he spoke, he was happy. When he described those days, his eyes glowed._

_But Suki's bitterness towards the other girl got the better of her, and she blurted out that comment without thinking. _

_Zuko looked up, his unburned eye wide and his face dark with anger – no, _fury_. "That's _wrong_," he snapped. "Listen, Suki, I know you hate her for what she did, and you have every right, but you also hated _me_ for what I did, remember?"_

_Suki leaned back on her hands, looking up at the sky. "I lost so much time because of her," she answered. "Kyoshi was vulnerable and could have been burned to the ground without my women and me. And meanwhile she was schmoozing up to you and probably spying on you for Azula and your father."_

_Zuko's eyes shone with pain, and Suki instantly felt terrible for hurting him, but it was still how she felt, so she didn't take it back or apologise. _

_"You know something, Suki?" he said finally, his voice breaking a little. "For the longest time, I thought the same. Mai is... she's very cunning. Not like Azula, but still cunning. She's sleek, strong, and silent. She is blasé, cold, and bored."_

_Suki looked over at him. He went on. "Except... when it comes to me." He looked shy all of a sudden. "When I piss her off, she explodes. When I say something stupid, she calls me an idiot. When I kiss her..." he paused and shut his eyes. "Look, Suki, she's not like that. Wasn't what she did for us on the Boiling Rock enough for you?"_

_Suki was silent. She wasn't sure, and she had no idea what to say to convey it._

Now Suki was sure. Now she realised that what both Mai and Zuko spoke of was nothing but honesty... and deep, mutual love.

Mai was looking at the floor now. "Nothing I can say makes a difference. I realise that, now," she said it softly. "Just... for Zuko's sake and for everyone else, let's just be _civil_, okay?"

She turned to go, but Suki was the one to stop _her_ this time. "Wait..." she called, suddenly desperate. This one chance was slipping away – _I don't want to fight anymore, I'm so sick of the hate_ – and she had to end it. "Wait – Mai, uh... Zuko... he's a dweeb with you, too?"

Mai looked over her shoulder. "Yes," she answered carefully, her voice neutral.

Suki smiled, forced at first, but soon - to her surprise - becoming real. "I know. He was... when he was talking about you, he was always red and babbling."

Mai raised one eyebrow. "You know, Sokka isn't the most articulate when discussing you, either."

Suki barked out a laugh without control. "Okay, you got me. Sokka's a dweeb, too. Maybe that's why he and Zuko are such great friends."

Mai said nothing. She turned back towards Suki. The younger girl suddenly felt the resentment just... roll over and die, just like it had when Zuko had apologised for burning Kyoshi.

"And why _we_ could be such great friends, too," Suki finished, meaning every single word.

Mai's face – just for an instant – lit up, only to be quickly replaced with careful indifference and a catlike smile. "Shouldn't you be peeing?" she wondered, waving her hand mockingly.

Suki blushed and laughed, scratching the back of her head.

* * *

"What a dork," Mai snorted, watching Zuko carefully place several full teacups on a tray with a practised – but slightly nervous – ease (he had never served his friends before).

"Pay attention or I'll kick your ass," Suki muttered in reply, her eyes glued to the Pai Sho board.

"You're done for," Mai answered, sounding bored, but she looked back towards the game, nonetheless.

Katara put a hand to her chin. "I dunno, Mai. Suki could easily bring her Lily tile -"

"Shut up," Suki hissed, waving her hand at Katara in a shooing gesture. "Go stand over someone else!"

"Tea," Zuko broke in, holding out a cup to Katara.

"Good timing," Mai smiled up at him, holding out her hand. He placed a mug in her outstretched fingers, his own lingering a little over hers softly. He had a shy smile on his face, and Mai felt her cheeks heat up a little.

Suki held out her hand without looking up. "Give. Tea. Now."

Zuko evaded her hand and put the cup on the table, earning laughs from Katara and Mai and a scowl from Suki.

"_Zuko, stop moving!_" Sokka snarled suddenly, becoming the instant centre of attention. The Pai Sho match was forgotten.

* * *

"_Finally, alone,_" Zuko groaned. He covered his face and leaned back, just_ falling _onto the futon behind him in a heap. Mai, from her place in the doorway, quirked an eyebrow at him. He must have sensed her hesitation, because he let his hands drop from his face, a small smile there. His eyes met hers, the naked emotion revealing itself there and making them glow. Mai's mouth went dry, the smile fading, feeling envy – _he's so lucky he can be so open with his emotions_ – and confusion.

Concern washed over his face. He sat up, his hair sticking up a little. "Mai? Are you alright?"

Was she? She loved him, there was no denying it. She was happy; she felt that deep in her bones. She knew that, right now, she was in the right place, at the right time, and with the right people...

_But..._

"Why didn't you look for me? Why didn't you contact me? Do you love me as much as I love you...?"

She hadn't realised she had said the words out loud until she watched Zuko's eyes go wide, his lips part, and his shoulders just _sag_ all of a sudden. Inwardly, she winced – _what is it about him that makes me say stupid, inappropriate things?_ – but she couldn't take the words back, and she wasn't sure she wanted to, really.

_I have to know..._

Wordlessly, Zuko got to his feet. He walked to her, leaned over her, and closed the door behind her; Mai felt a tinge of alarm – clearly whatever he wanted to say was something he didn't want Iroh to hear.

Zuko stayed close. He sighed, opened his mouth, then shut it. He reached up and tugged at his hair, then pulled his hand away and cringed. Mai smiled; it probably was really out of place, but he was being – dare she admit it? – _adorable._

"I... I'm not good with words," he said finally.

"Liar," Mai shot back, rolling her eyes. "Your speech was flawless, Firelord."

Zuko made a face and threw his hands up in the air. "I'm not good with _feelings_-words!" he clarified. "I mean, Mai, I just... I couldn't... even if I wanted to, I didn't know what had happened. I didn't know where you were... Katara said... I didn't know until she said... and I -"

"Whoa," Mai put a hand to his cheek, the scarred one, and he stopped, looking helpless and confused. "Slowly, now."

Zuko leaned into her touch and lowered his arms, shutting his eyes. "Honestly, I just thought you would be okay. You've never needed protection, and your uncle was there, too. Until Katara brought it up, I had never even considered that you would lose."

Mai sighed. "Flattering, but not very realistic."

"You and Azula were always friends. I didn't even think she would attack you, let alone _imprison_ you," he admitted.

"She probably wouldn't have if she hadn't found out why I betrayed her," she blurted out without thinking.

Zuko raised his head, suddenly interested. "What do you mean?"

"Forget it. Let's just go to bed," she answered hurriedly, skirting past him and towards the futon. Zuko reached out to grab her hand, but she felt a sudden jab of irritation – at herself, mostly – and she slapped it away. He jerked it back, startled.

"Is this what you meant by your last question? Does what you said to her have to do with what you just asked me?" he demanded, sounding irritated himself, now.

"Drop it, Zuko -" she started, but he cut her off.

"_No_," he snapped, and she glared at him. "Why... why would you ask me something like that, Mai?"

"Why? Why?" She turned to him. "Katara told me what had happened that day, Zuko. The day of the Agni Kai. You could have _died_."

"So could you!" he shot back. "I thought you _had_ died!"

"Only after Katara brought it up!"

"Is this about _Katara_?" Zuko snapped. He was treading on unfair ground and knew it, but despite this he couldn't keep it in. "Are you _jealous_?"

And suddenly he found himself pinned to the closest wall. He hadn't even seen her move, but she had – and now his arms were held by several knives stuck through his sleeves.

"You _bastard_," she growled. "Am I _jealous_? Of _her_? Yes, and no! She got to come with you! She got to help you, be at your side! And I had to sit and _wait_! It killed me inside, Zuko! And you didn't even write to me..."

Her eyes burned, and inside she wanted to die, especially when her vision blurred with angry tears. _Damn feelings,_ she thought acidly. _Damn Zuko._

"Mai, I'm sorry!" he cried, sounding desperate. "You have no idea! Every single night, I thought of -"

"Oh, vomit. _Vomit_," she spat out. "Don't even start."

"Argh!" Zuko kicked out at the futon in his frustration. "I _told_ you I'm not good with words! Even when it matters! _Dammit_!" Another kick, this one harder.

The door creaked open slowly, and Iroh poked his head in, looking concerned. His eyes fell on Zuko pinned to the wall, the messy and kicked futon, and Mai's furious expression. He blushed, gave an embarrassed chuckle, and backed away, saying, "Oh, sorry, Nephew. Carry on."

The door closed behind him, the sound of his laughter slowly fading down the hallway.

Both Mai and Zuko were quiet, sharing feelings of mortification and confusion. "Great," Zuko muttered. "Now Uncle is going to think I'm into kink."

"You _are_," Mai snorted.

"But I don't want _him_ to know about it!" he protested, his face scarlet.

Mai snorted again, this time the sound turning into a laugh. Zuko's face burned. "It's not funny!" he shouted, his voice cracking. That cracked Mai up, and she covered her mouth, unable to hold it in. "_Mai_!"

She rolled her eyes and managed to clamp down on her giggles, but just barely. She walked over and pulled the knives out slowly, then hid her hands in her sleeves. When they came out again, they were empty. Zuko shook his arms a little, scowling at her. She leaned in close and smiled at him, which surprised him.

"It doesn't matter if you don't love me as much as I love you," she admitted softly. "You can't really measure that kind of thing, anyway."

Zuko leaned in and gently brushed her cheek with his. "I do love you, Mai," he whispered into her ear. "I always have. The moment you leaned over and kissed me, and then said 'You taste like salt. Fix that,' I was yours."

"You did, though," she muttered shyly, pleased that he had remembered that. She reached forward and fidgeted with the front of his shirt. "I had always thought that princes were supposed to taste like roses or something."

"I was twelve!"

"Do you taste like roses, now?" she wondered, her eyes flashing impishly.

Zuko smirked at her. "Probably not. Will that stop you from kissing me ever again?"

In reply, Mai leaned in and kissed him. She was hesitant at first – _are things okay? Am I okay?_ – but when he slid his arms around her and pulled her close, kissing her back with a familiar fervor, she let it go, all of it - her doubts, her fears, her second guessing – and lived in the moment.


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

Suki, however, wasn't impressed. "So you let him distract you with sex," she said flatly, causing Mai to choke on her tea.

They were sitting in the Palace garden together, cross-legged, beside the turtle-duck pond. Further down, closer to the main yard, Zuko and Sokka sparred, punctuating the air with curses, crude insults, and the song of swinging swords.

Which was a good thing, considering Suki's blasé and less-than-amused observation.

Zuko had been Firelord for over two months. His first few days were spent with friends and family, while the remaining days were spent locating previously 'banished' citizens and councilmen and women and inviting them back to the Palace (including, Mai knew Zuko hoped, his mother – but so far there had been no sign of her). In between all of this, his time was spent re-writing treaties and working with Aang to ensure that no one was left as a prisoner of war.

This was the first real day that Zuko had to himself, and when Suki and Sokka called on them for a visit, he was so happy that he stuttered for an hour, relieved that they were there to just hang out and not discuss politics.

Even though he was glad for a break, he was still a good ruler. Even with his temper, he still managed to ease a lot of animosity between groups of former enemies. Mai was really proud of him, thrilled that she was able to watch it all, since he allowed her to attend the meetings (or had, for a while – for some reason after a few weeks he suddenly stopped inviting her along, but she didn't push it). At times he insisted on her presence, especially when it came to the rewriting of the treaty for Omashu since her parents were involved. Eventually, since she was already spending so much time at the Palace, he invited her to move in with him, and she said yes.

It had been a surprise, but it was also a relief; with her family back from Omashu and with how obvious it was that she was a different person than the one they had known, she had felt more like an outsider living there with them than ever before, and was glad to live with Zuko, instead.

That had been five weeks ago. Since then, there had been no talk of anything else – marriage, specifically – which also surprised her. While Zuko wasn't the most orthodox of Firelords, she had just assumed that, after a while, he would ask her. But not a word was said about it.

She confessed her worries about it with Suki, including the heated fight they had had that night in Ba Sing Se, which, in turn, had resulted in Suki's less-than-supportive comment.

Suki smirked in satisfaction at having her words cause such a reaction in Mai. Her sharp blue eyes pierced Mai's, and not for the first time Mai found herself thinking that although Suki was actually rather average-looking without her make-up, it was her eyes that usually made people stop to look at her, and it was her eyes that spoke volumes of her strength and extraordinance. They were unsettling and sharp, giving the uncanny impression that they were able to look deep into a person's soul when making eye contact. It unnerved Mai sometimes.

"I... did... _not_!" she protested, wiping her chin with her sleeve. "Honestly, it really felt like things were fine! But it's been weeks since I moved in and he hasn't said a word, so now I wonder..." She pressed her lips together, looking down into her mug.

Suki crossed her arms over her chest, chewing on her bottom lip in thought. From the corner of her eye she watched Sokka try to roundhouse-kick Zuko's head, only to yowl in sudden pain and hop around as he suffered a sudden pulled muscle instead. Zuko's mocking laughter made it much worse, especially when Sokka tripped and fell to the ground.

"You know," she said, her voice a trace absent. "Zuko used to tell me about you all the time, and one of the things he said was that you always took the lead, and that he both loved it and was grateful for it." Her eyes met Mai's again. "He's a dork, Mai," she said, rolling her eyes and gesturing to the two young men who were now slapping at each other and shouting obscenities. "He's probably waiting for you to bring it up."

"But... that's stupid. He was the one who asked me to move in with him. Why would he decide to leave the proposal to me? That's just _dumb_."

Suki laughed. "That's just _Zuko_," she replied, waving her hand at the man in question. Zuko had Sokka in a headlock and was yanking on his wolftail, and Sokka was screaming and trying to beat Zuko with the sheath of his sword.

Mai covered her face with her hands and groaned. Suki laughed again, full-bodied and unrestrained.

"Hey!" Sokka shouted, glaring at Suki from under Zuko's arms. "Stop laughing at me! I have him right where I want him!"

Zuko snorted and squeezed his arms around Sokka's neck, causing the younger man to make a strangled noise. Suki raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you look really strong, there, tough guy."

"Just end his misery, Zuko," Mai advised, sounding bored.

"_What_?" Sokka spluttered out, but Zuko shot Mai a triumphant grin – and she found she couldn't suppress a responding grin of her own_. What a dork,_ she thought affectionately, watching him make a show of releasing Sokka like he was dropping a sack of rice.

Suki applauded slowly, her face a mix of amusement and disgust. "_Water Tribe_," she quipped, drawing out the last word in a perfect impression of his voice. Sokka scowled at her from the ground.

Zuko held a hand out to him, and he took it. The older man pulled the younger to his feet, giving him a slap on his back and a smile. Sokka retaliated with a punch to the shoulder. Zuko slapped his back again, harder, only to get another punch.

And so it began again.

"Are you sure you even _want_ to marry him?" Suki teased.

* * *

"Marriage?" Iroh blinked like a sparrow-owl, his eyes huge on his face. "Marry my nephew?"

Mai made a face, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "You don't think it's a good idea?" she wondered, her hands tightening around her teacup.

Iroh grinned so wide that his eyes vanished into crescents. It was nice to see, actually; Mai's childhood memories of him were of a distant shadow of a man, saddened and shaken to the core by the loss of his son and his father in less than a month. Now, within his teashop in Ba Sing Se, he was practically glowing with his delight. The shadowy man was long gone.

"On the contrary, Mai. I think you would be a wonderful wife to my nephew. Already you act as if you are married to him," and here, to her embarrassment, he actually _leered_ at her. She went bright red, both from shyness and happiness (but mostly shyness).

He went on, his face suddenly sombre with thought. "The thing is, Mai, that my nephew is something of... he's not very bright when it comes to women. He's like an ostrich-horse – stoic and hardworking, but easy to frighten. You would have to... be gentle, I suppose."

Mai cupped her chin in her hand, irritated. She knew he was right. "Suki suggested the same thing, that _I'm_ the one to confront _him_. That's... so _boring_."

"Did you expect some kind of extravagant display of love from him?" Iroh wondered. She didn't miss the slight reprimand in his voice – nor did she miss the teasing. "Zuko is a simple, shy man."

"I'm shy, too," she protested.

"Ah, but when it comes to my nephew, you have the courage to speak, don't you?" When she blushed again, he chuckled. "Speak from the heart, and tell him what you want, Mai. It will make him see that he wants it, too."

"Make him?" Mai echoed doubtfully. "Sounds like I'm _forcing_ him."

"Quite the opposite, actually – you're just opening his eyes."

* * *

_Opening his eyes,_ Mai thought, her own eyes narrowed into slits. _Or maybe I could just force them open with my knives._

"Zuko," she said slowly, her voice low with irritation.

He looked up briefly from whatever he was writing before looking back down again, his face a mix of confusion and frustration. "Mm," he replied distractedly. "Hi. Just give me a second."

She had, actually. She had been standing there for over _twenty minutes_, slowly getting madder and madder, feeling like a pot on an open flame. She had _asked_ him if he had any paperwork that night, and he had said _no_. And now she found him _with paperwork_. It was enough to make her scream.

She had made an _effort_ to look _nice_, dammit! She had pulled her hair into a formal topknot, wore dark green silk robes, and even showed a bit of skin around the neck and chest. All were signs that indicated that it was _supposed_ to be a special night. All were signs that he _missed_!

"Zuko!" she hissed, unable to keep the fury from her voice.

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry," he answered in a low, completely toneless voice. "One of the treaties was rejected and I'm trying to renegotiate. It was completely unexpected."

Mai suddenly had to fight with herself. She was genuinely pissed off at him for ignoring her, but she was also incredibly curious about the treaty. Despite her irritation, she found herself joining him at his side, peering over and placing her hands on his shoulders, gently and absently kneading the knots out as she read over his shoulder. He sighed and leaned back, relieved.

Her eyes raked over the characters, unable to suppress her curiosity. Zuko shut his eyes tight, submitting to her ministrations as she read the proposal and took in the meaning of the words.

"'We want to be left alone, but we want funding,'" she read, her voice flat with disbelief. "'We want your support, but without your interference.'"

"Nrrrgh," was Zuko's reply to both her massaging and her words.

"Damn, that's ridiculous," Mai muttered. "They just want you to send bags of gold, and for what?" She leaned in closer. "Flowers?"

"Yeah," he grunted, leaning his head back. "They're botanists. Prettiest flowers in the Earth Kingdom. Very pretty."

"_Stupid_," Mai corrected. "Not worth it, Zuko. We can get flowers elsewhere. Reject their treaty and ask for a rewrite."

"This _is_ the rewrite," he muttered, a slight whine escaping him. "The third one."

"Zuko," Mai leaned in close, her hands trailing down his back. He practically melted, a groan of relief escaping him so loud that she had to smile. "Reject it. They're toying with you, thinking you're an inexperienced teenager." She leaned in closer, unable to resist rubbing her cheek against his. "They didn't count on you being helped by _me_."

He reached up and touched her hair lightly. "That's true," he agreed softly, his eyes still closed, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Mai."

The words were so bare, so unforced and from the gut, that it instantly made her shy. "You'd do stupid things," she said, pulling her face away so that he wouldn't feel her sudden blush. It was annoying – how did he _do_ that? How did he just worm his way into her blood and diffuse her anger with misplaced words?

He laughed, a quiet sound, his eyes opening and meeting hers. "Yeah, probably." He paused, looking surprised. "Why are you all dressed up? You look really pretty."

Mai hesitated. She didn't feel right, bringing up what seemed like such a frivolous topic now in comparison to peace treaties. "It's nothing. Would you like me to help you with the rewrite? All you had to do was ask, you know."

"I don't like bothering you," he admitted sheepishly.

"But it's _boring_ otherwise," she chided gently, tugging his hair out of its topknot and combing it out with her fingers. This brought a purr out of him, which brought a giggle out of _her_.

"I'd love your help," he admitted finally.

"Want me to write the rejection letter?"

He nodded. "But _be nice_," he warned, grinning up at her.

"Mm..." she replied. "Can it wait until morning, do you think?" She knew it probably wasn't appropriate, but she couldn't help herself; when he melted like this, it was hard not to be affected by how adorable and sweet he acted. She just wanted to take the stress of the day away.

Slowly, Zuko reached for her, sliding his arms around her waist and dragging her down onto his lap. She smiled into his eyes, lopsided eyes that she adored. "It can wait until morning," he agreed against her lips, before he kissed her, holding her close, and she forgot about her anger.

* * *

"He distracted you with sex _again_," Suki burst out laughing, holding her sides and throwing her head back. "You coward!"

Mai's face burned. "He did not!" she protested. "_I_ started it this time!"

Ty Lee leaned forward, her eyes huge. "I've always wanted to know, Mai," she said, her voice high with anticipation. She held out her hands. "How big is Zuko's-"

"Augh!" Mai covered her ears and shrieked, drowning out any possible end to that question. Suki's laughter intensified, now coupled with Ty Lee's, and she suddenly wished she _had_ accepted Zuko's invitation to the Southern Air Temple instead of going to Kyoshi Island for a visit.

"Honestly!" Suki giggled, wiping the tears from her eyes. "The two of you are worse than Sokka and I ever _could_ be."

Ty Lee grinned impishly. "Actually, remember when I caught you both in the closet -"

"No, I don't," Suki snapped, her smile vanishing.

Mai leaned closer, however, suddenly interested. "Oh?"

"Yup," Ty Lee replied. "The closet, the beach, the dojo -"

"We were _wrestling_!" Suki shouted, her face bright red.

Mai snorted. "So that's what they call it here?"

"Oh, _come on_!" Suki moaned, and both Ty Lee and Mai laughed at her.

"I'm not a coward," Mai said finally. "I just... he was so tired, you know? He's got a lot on his plate... maybe he just doesn't have time to get married right now."

"That's just stupid," Suki replied, getting Mai mad. Suki knew, but didn't care. She was tired of Mai balking on this, when it obviously meant so much to her. "Be a woman and get it over with, will you? I'm tired of Sokka pestering me about it."

Ty Lee nodded sagely. "It's inevitable," she agreed. "Might as well get it done while we're young."

Mai looked away, suddenly self-conscious. "Well, what if he says no?"

Both Suki and Ty Lee stared at her in disbelief. "He wouldn't," Ty Lee said with a chuckle, looking incredulous. "He loves you. He'd probably be so happy he would start crying or something."

Mai made a face, but Ty Lee was serious. "Zuko's like that, Mai. He's never afraid to show his feelings when he experiences them, and he's never afraid to be honest. He totally, totally adores you. It shows."

"It's pretty gross," Suki agreed.

"Meh," Mai answered flatly, but inside, she couldn't help but feel that her emotions were once again betraying her, and that deep down she hoped – yearned – for it to be true. "Whatever."

Both girls decided to let it rest, leading the discussion onto other things. They caught up; Suki and Mai discussed politics, Mai and Ty Lee discussed Azula, and Suki and Ty Lee told Mai about Kyoshi's new trading routes, resulting in a prosperous island, like it had been in its heyday.

It was soothing, being distracted by normal things. But she also wondered if Suki was right, and she really _was_ a coward.


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

Mai had no real explanation for what happened later that week. All she knew was that _something_, upon seeing Zuko getting dressed for another damned meeting with tired eyes and a drooping stance, _just_ _snapped_.

Her hand flew out and half a dozen of her knives sang through the air, snagging his clothes and pinning him to the wall. He squawked in surprise - a satisfying noise, true - and his eyes went wide.

"Mai!" he yelped, catching sight of her carefully blank face. "What are you doing? I have a meeting in ten minutes! I can't be late!"

She sighed. "I know that, you moron," she snapped. "Why do you think I pinned you? Agni knows that that's the only way to keep you in one place for more than five minutes."

Zuko's eyes shut and this time _he_ sighed; the barb had hit home, and he sagged a little. "I know," he admitted. "I'm _exhausted_. I had thought that I could handle this alone, without Aang or Uncle, but I'm even starting to _dream_ about politics." He winced, looking both horrified and weary at the thought of it.

"I know," Mai echoed. She walked over and starting pulling the knives out one by one. "You mutter in your sleep." She stopped, leaving a few of the knives in, and instead cupped his face into her hands wordlessly, unable to suppress it. He looked so tired and so burdened, and no matter how hard she tried, she wasn't doing enough. She _couldn't_; there was only so much a _girlfriend_ of the Firelord could do for him.

"Uh," Zuko squirmed a little, smiling a big goofy smile. "A little help?"

"No," she answered. "I haven't said what I want to say, yet."

"Mai," he repeated, a trace of a whine in his voice. She shook his head a little as her reply, and he laughed, a small little chuckle. "I _do_ have to go, and I take it you want to come along, too?"

"No," she snapped suddenly, dropping his face. "I don't just_ want_ to come along. I _should_. You used to let me come along all the time. Why stop now, especially when you're so stressed?"

Zuko went pale, and Mai instantly wondered what he had been hiding. She found out soon enough. "People... complained," he admitted softly, looking pained by it.

"And your solution was to just let me stay here in the Palace and be _bored_, spending my time amongst friends, with no say, while I have to watch you work yourself to _death_."

Zuko looked away, and Mai sighed, reaching up and pulling out the remaining knives. Anything she had wanted to say – and she had been so close to saying it, too – just dried up in her throat. _Dammit, I _am_ a coward,_ she thought bitterly.

As Zuko rubbed feeling back into his arms, Mai replaced the knives and turned away, unable to even look at him anymore. "You'll be late," she said, her voice tight. "Better get going."

She didn't turn around, not even when she heard the door close. When it did, she shut her eyes tight and flung her arm out, the shuriken that were tucked between her fingers coming loose and soaring through the guiltless air. They sank into the closest tapestry, one that was too gaudy for her taste, anyway.

_Jerk,_ she thought, her eyes still closed. _Why can't you pick up on hints? Why are you so stupid that you can't even understand what I'm trying to say?_

She had a hard enough time telling him she _liked_ him, let alone that she _loved_ him. She always felt deliriously happy or incredibly irate around him, and found any means of normal communication just fleeing. Their argument in Iroh's teashop had been the only time she had admitted love in front of him, and it was during a fight!

_Are we _always_ going to be this way?_ She wondered idly, walking over to the wall and pulling the blades out with some hesitation.

An hour later, she was on a ferry to Kyoshi Island for a much-needed break.

* * *

The first day she spent ignoring everyone, hiding in the guest inn on the Island. While seeing her there wasn't unusual, her showing up with a few bags certainly was. Suki greeted her on the shore with a confused look.

"Zuko's an ass," was all Mai offered before storming past her and into the inn.

Suki watched her go, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning. As far as she knew, Zuko was _always_ an ass; what made this situation any different?

Sokka, who was staying on Kyoshi for a while, both to help with building a few new houses and to keep Suki company, had a theory of his own. "Zuko was probably dense," he said lazily, lying on his back and batting at her hair idly.

She slapped his hands away and got up from the bed. Night was falling, and Mai still hadn't come out of the inn. Sokka stayed on the bed, his eyes closed, looking smug and relaxed, like he always did after she and him had had sex. Any other time, he would have looked endearing, but right now Suki was too irritated about Mai to appreciate it.

"Suki," Sokka called softly, opening his eyes and watching her jerkily brush out her messy cap of hair. He sat up and watched her through the mirror, his eyes large and concerned. "Why does it bother you? I thought you didn't want to get married."

She froze, blinking. "Of course I don't," she admitted honestly. "I just..." she sighed, leaning over and rubbing her forehead slowly, then got to her feet and joined him back on the bed, sitting beside him. "You know how you were sad about Aang and Katara, about how it was obvious she was smothering her feelings but still wouldn't act on them?"

Sokka's face darkened a little. "Yeah."

"I think it's kinda like that," Suki leaned against him as she spoke, resting her head on his shoulder. His fingers instantly went to her hair and stroked slowly. "I just want her to be happy, and I think Zuko's afraid to get closer to her, to bring her into the front, in case trouble comes up."

"Or maybe, like I said, he's just _dense_," Sokka answered, rolling his eyes. Suki reached over and sank her nails into his thigh, but he only winced. "Trust me, Suki, I've known the guy longer than you have, both as an enemy and an ally. He trips over his own tongue more often than his feet."

Despite herself, Suki laughed; it made a funny mental image.

"Want me to visit the capitol and maybe shake some sense into him?" he wondered, pushing her hand away from his thigh and holding it between his.

She shook her head. "No, I have a better idea."

* * *

"Wanna spar?" Suki wondered, dressed in regular clothes with her face bare. Mai had kept to herself for two days, finally answering on the morning of the third.

The older girl, who looked both tired and alight with some kind of inner-fire, sighed. "I'm not exactly in the right state for it," she admitted.

Suki considered, looking her over. She wore muted clothes, and her hair was pulled back into an impeccable but understated braid that fell down her back. She couldn't see them but knew that Mai also probably wore her knives, despite the reserved look.

"Afraid you'll lose?" Suki said anyway, forcing a smile. Mai's right eye twitched, and she knew instantly that she had won.

"You should be worried about yourself," Mai replied with a small smile of her own.

* * *

When they got there, the dojo was occupied. Ty Lee was leading the other Kyoshi Warriors through a small form that ended in what looked like several of her own chi-blocking techniques.

Mai found this puzzling. "Ty Lee is leading the practise today?" she wondered, her voice soft so as not to disturb the other girls.

Suki nodded. "She usually does, especially on my days off. The girls adore her, and she's actually a really good teacher."

_She certainly _looks_ at home_, Mai thought, surprised to see how relaxed and happy Ty Lee looked. She hadn't seen her this happy in a long time, not since she left to join the circus.

The girls watched the practise in silence, mutually smitten by how easily Ty Lee led and the Warriors followed. When it ended, Ty Lee turned and noticed them, happily leaping over to them. She assaulted Mai with a huge hug.

"You came out of your hole!" she exclaimed gleefully.

"Ha, ha," Mai answered flatly.

As the other Warriors exchanged greetings with Suki and filed out, Ty Lee squeezed Mai tight. "It's so good to seeee you!" she said needlessly. "Where's Zuko?"

Suki winced, and Mai's expression hardened. "At home," she answered flatly.

What she didn't realise, Suki and Ty Lee caught, exchanging knowing glances: Mai had called the Palace "home".

However, showing great tact and restraint, neither girl said a word about it. Ty Lee pulled away from Mai. "So, have you come to spar?"

Suki nodded. "Want in?"

The other girl shook her head, stretching like a cat. "No way. I'm beat. See you later for snacks?" She paused. "Oh! Is Sokka still around?"

Suki's expression turned dark, and Mai looked away, trying not to laugh; Ty Lee wasn't a threat – she just liked to be worshipped, especially by big, goofy guys like Sokka.

Ty Lee, however, instantly realised she was on dangerous ground and backed off. "Snacks later!" she promised. "See ya!" And with that, she hurriedly vanished after the other girls.

Suki's glower didn't ease. "Ugh, she pisses me off sometimes," she admitted. "She's so talented and is a great Warrior, but just when I'm thinking of promoting her she says something like _that_."

Mai got to her feet, and Suki did the same. "She's harmless," Mai said honestly. "She just likes attention. She would never do what you're thinking of."

"I know," Suki replied, surprising Mai. "I just... it's a long story. It's not her fault." She reached to her belt and pulled out her fans.

"Whose fault is it, then?" Mai wondered idly, relaxing her shoulders and finding her root, preparing for the fight.

"No one's. Mine. I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh? And why not?"

Suki narrowed her eyes, and in reply she flicked her fans open. Mai raised an eyebrow, tossed her braid over her shoulder, and hid her hands in her sleeves. She waited, always calm, for Suki's first move. She didn't have to wait long – the younger girl's frustration powered her on, and with a slight twitch of her wrists, she threw herself forward, arms held at her sides, her pace quick.

Mai turned and jumped to the side, out of range, but Suki's right hand followed her quicker than she could evade, and the metal fan's razor edge almost cut into her sleeve. That annoyed her.

Suki, however, didn't seem to care. She turned towards Mai and threw her other arm out, leaning her weight on her front foot and just _lunging_. Mai ducked out of the way, her fingers pulling three knives from their holders and holding them between. She threw her hand out and towards Suki. They sang through the air, almost impervious – except that Suki was too quick, and her fan managed to intercept and knock them from the air in mid-flight.

Their fight was familiar. Both remembered that tense day in the woods as they fought for possession of Appa. While Suki had faced Azula for most of the fight, occasionally she would come head-to-head with Mai or Ty Lee, especially near the end, when she was the last one standing.

But _this_ fight was better. Mai wasn't out for blood, wasn't under Azula's thumb. This wasn't about life-or-death, or about who was on top. It was about exercise, stamina, and venting frustration and guilt and anything else that ate away at her gut.

One fight became two. Two fights progressed into four. Pretty soon, both girls had lost track of time, of how many wins and losses each had, unaware of how their clothes were soaked with sweat or droplets of blood, unaware of the almost silent audience hovering outside of the dojo.

It was only when Suki at last held up her hands and dropped her fans in surrender, having fallen to the ground on her back, that the fights ended. Mai nodded in relief and some happiness, most of her worries gone and sliced to shreds, and when she helped the other girl up, she offered a small smile, one that was gratefully returned.

Only the applause that greeted them once they both stood was _not welcome_, and Suki shouted herself hoarse getting rid of them. Mai wasn't sure, but she suspected that the island's namesake had, at one point, done the same.

* * *

Later, when both girls had bathed and changed into clean clothes, they sat down to tea in Suki's wide and spacey apartments, with Sokka joining them. He ate most of the cakes as the girls conversed, and Suki had to smack his hands away when the plate was starting to look dangerously empty.

It amused Mai, but also sent a stab of longing through her. She missed Zuko, and seeing Suki and Sokka squabble made her wish he was with her, leaning in close and whispering snarky comments in her ear. It also made things painfully clear for her when it came to her relationship with him.

Suki and Sokka were worlds apart from Mai and Zuko. They played games, fought with words, sparred with actions. They were both hardened warriors, forced into it at a young age, but with each other, they dissolved into the sniping teenagers they both were. Suki may have worried about Ty Lee for whatever reason, but even Mai could see that Sokka's only pillar was her.

She and Zuko, however, were very different. They didn't play games like this. They fought and shouted and raged like fire, flickering out just as quickly and cooling off with few words and far more touching. They fought physically as well as verbally, without much thought to what was said and done, and with little regret. Their games were sensual, designed solely for their own amusement and pleasure.

Suki was earth – ever-steady and stubborn but resilient, dependable and strong. Sokka was water – vibrant, cooling, calming, but excitable and emotional. Their personalities balanced out, and while there were conflicts, they always found themselves on equal ground in the end.

Both Mai and Zuko were fire – passionate, bright, easy-to-frustrate and even easier to lose control of, always feeding off of each other. However, Mai often felt more like smoke and dim embers – easy to overlook, lacking warmth and substance, unable to be held for long and waved away like a nuisance. It was only with Zuko, who was pure fire, that she felt herself blaze into flame. She felt _alive_ with him, _alive_ like nothing she had ever felt before. He never tried to smother her or reduce her to dying embers like her parents had. With him, she could be her true self – furious, passionate, joyous... her private self.

Mai was lost in these thoughts, not even noticing when Suki and Sokka started smacking at each other.

_Suki and Sokka are lucky,_ she thought. _They can be themselves without each other to show them the way. They could survive without each other and not lose part of their identity. But I... I need Zuko to help me see. I need Zuko to show me my inner fire, and I need him to help me embrace it – without shame._

_I have to go home..._

She stood up suddenly, placing her teacup on the table. Both Suki and Sokka froze, watching her curiously. "I'm heading back," she admitted, feeling shy all of a sudden. "I'm okay, now."

"Are you going to beat him up?" Sokka wondered with a grin. Suki smacked his shoulder, and he yelped and complained, but Mai smiled in reply.

"A little," she said mysteriously.


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

It took her the entire morning of the next day to return to the Fire Nation capitol. By then, she had been absent for close to five days. Despite this, she was confident that while she was probably missed, Zuko had realised why she left.

She should have known better.

She was greeted at the gates by not the usual two, but _four_, guards. They looked panicked and confused, as opposed to the bored and blasé looks that they usually wore. Bemused, she froze, her hands disappearing into her sleeves.

Only when she was close to them did they recognise her, visibly relaxing. "Lady Mai," one breathed out in relief. "Thank the spirits and Agni combined."

This alarmed her, unsurprisingly. "What happened? Where is Zuko?" she snapped out, brushing past them without waiting for an answer. She heard them calling after her, but she didn't care – her insides were writhing inside of her like a nest of leopard-snakes.

_If he's been hurt, so help me, the Palace will burn to the ground._

When she entered the main hallways of the Palace, she heard voices – loud, shouting, male voices – raised in anger and panic. Both of them she recognised, and she suddenly had to fight the urge to scream.

"If you were anything _close_ to a man, you would have just _asked_ her what was wrong! Now, she could be _anywhere_!"

"You don't think I know that? Why do you think I've sent out so many of my men and women to _find_ her?"

_Well, hell,_ Mai thought stonily, both relieved and embarrassed.

"And now she's kidnapped or _worse_ because of how stupid you are, you careless, selfish little whelp!"

Mai rolled her eyes; that was her cue, really. She barged into the room, unable to swallow her sudden annoyance. Both Zuko and her uncle Koryu froze at the sight of her, both standing a foot away and standing in the exact same manner – legs apart, arms up, hands clenched into fists. They turned from each other and stared at her in shock.

"_Mai!_" Zuko yelped, the strain in his voice close to breaking her heart. He started forward towards her, but Koryu lunged forward, shoved him roughly to the side, and grabbed her up into a hug first. Zuko staggered back and tripped, falling hard on his rear with a grunt and a curse.

"Where the _hell_ were you? I was so worried!" Koryu shouted, making her wince a little.

"Kyoshi," she squeaked out, his hold on her too tight for her to form sentences.

Zuko scrambled to his feet, prising Koryu's hands off of her and throwing his arms around her from behind, burying his face into her shoulder and squeezing tight. She squeaked again, but reached up and patted his head affectionately.

"No note, no notice, only holes in the wall!" Koryu went on, his eyes on hers. They were hard, but they belied his supposed rage – she could see, plain as day, that he _had_ been worried.

"Two grown men and you can't even last less than a week without me," she answered flatly, rolling her eyes. Zuko's arms tightened around her waist, but he said nothing in his defence.

"Not funny, Mai," Koryu snapped.

"Whatever," was her answer, waving her hand at her uncle. "Go away. Zuko and I need to talk."

"Anything you need to say to him can be said in front of me."

Mai raised an eyebrow. "You really don't want to hear this, Uncle."

Zuko looked up, curious.

Koryu merely crossed his arms, his mouth a thin line of annoyance and disapproval. Mai sighed, realising that despite her best attempts, she was going to have an audience, and a hostile one to boot.

_Whatever_, she thought, reaching down and gently pulling Zuko's arms from around her waist, turning around so that they were face-to-face. She met his gaze and he smiled at her, relief and happiness in his eyes. She could tell he wasn't mad at her for leaving – just glad that she was back. She reached up, ignoring Koryu completely now, her attention only on Zuko. When her hands cupped his face, he closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"You moron," she burst out, the elegant words she had wanted to say fleeing in a puff of dust. "Could you please just hurry up and marry me already, _please_? I'm bored and tired of waiting."

Koryu made a choked noise and Zuko's eyes snapped open, the unburned one going huge. He went pale, then pink, then bright red, but his smile went so wide and so unguarded that she felt herself warmed by it.

"_That's_ why you left? _That's_ why you've been mad?"

_"THAT'S JUST WRONG!"_ Koryu practically exploded, but Mai merely shrugged at him. "I _did_ ask you to leave, you know," she told him. She kept her gaze on Zuko, who, her surprise, had full eyes and a big goofy grin on his face.

_Damn you, Ty Lee,_ she thought affectionately, biting her lip. _You were right._

"Mai," Zuko murmured, his voice thick. She felt her cheeks warm up suddenly – the voice he used was intimate and personal, thick with emotion. It, really, was the only answer she needed, but she made sure nonetheless.

"So we're going to get it over with, right?"

Zuko threw his arms around her and hugged her close, laughing into her neck. Koryu groaned, and Mai almost joined him – Zuko was always so _dramatic_ – but the other part, the part that she knew was her true self, thought, _that was just the reaction I was looking for._

* * *

"No."

Mai glowered, crossing her arms. "Yes. Do it."

Koryu met the glower with one of his own. "No."

She sighed. He had had a week to get used to it; why was he still ruffled about it? Why fight the inevitable?

"_Do it_."

"_No_."

"Uncle Koryu!"

"Mai," he answered, his voice hard. "I adore you; you know that. I think the world of you. But I will not, _will not_, tell your parents you are getting married." Mai opened her mouth, but he cut her off. "It's not because Zuko is a little whelp who broke your heart. It's because they're your _parents. You_ should be the one to tell them."

"They won't care," she answered sullenly.

"I think they might."

* * *

Koryu was right. But he was right in the worst possible way.

Mai came by on a slow day; between trying to contact everyone and coordinating a day for the wedding that would work for everyone involved, Mai was ready to give up and demand that she and Zuko just _elope_.

Tom-Tom was over the moon to see her. He had grown in the year she spent preoccupied with Zuko and politics, and when he walked over to her with outstretched arms, he didn't trip once. Despite herself, she leaned down, scooped him up, and tickled him, delighted when giggles exploded from him.

"Mai, it's good to see you!" her father declared, his smile wide. She looked closely at him and found that it wasn't a lie. She smiled back, the gesture thin when held up to his.

"Hi," she said in reply. "Is Mom around?" She ducked Tom-Tom's fingers; he was trying to grab onto a lock of her hair.

He blinked, bemused. "Well, yes," he admitted. "Is everything alright? You usually send a letter before visiting."

"Fine," she replied honestly. "Can I talk to you guys for a second?"

He went to get his wife, and together, as a family, they sat down. The air around them was awkward, and she wished there was some way she could have a _real_ family.

"Zuko and I are getting married," she said flatly, batting Tom-Tom's questing fingers away from her ear. "Any problems with that?"

She should have known better. Their reaction was one out of a nightmare. Oh, sure, they were elated – delighted, even – but not for the right reason – _never for the right reason_. They were thrilled for _political reasons_.

"Mai!" Her mother practically glowed. "That's wonderful!"

For a moment, she was fooled. It was easy to be fooled by the one thing you hoped for the most. "You think so?" she wondered shyly.

"Of course! With such close ties to the Firelord, think of how your father's career will soar!"

Mai froze. "What?" she croaked out, unsure if she had heard correctly.

Her father looked proud. "That's right!" he agreed, his chest puffed out. "That was a good move, daughter."

"Wait," she tried to focus, really, but the rage that was forming in her gut was almost too loud to ignore. "You think I'm marrying Zuko... so that Dad can further his career?"

"Of course!" her mother replied. "Aren't you? I mean, we had always planned this for you from the start – it was why we were so persistent in arranging playdates with you and Princess Azula."

"Exactly," her father was agreeing. "You were older than the prince, sure, but since it wasn't much of a difference, we figured it would be perfect just the same."

"Your age would be seen as an asset, really. The prince would come to you for answers and advice."

"Oh yes; you'd be like the ruler in secret!"

"But then when Zuko was banished -"

"Yes, that was terrible, wasn't it?"

"Oh, but then he returned, and you were together... we hoped once again -"

"Shut up," Mai muttered softly into Tom-Tom's topknot. She hadn't even realised she had said it, much less said it loud enough to be _heard_, until both of her parents froze, staring at her like she was a ghost. Gently, she lowered her brother to the floor, feeling her entire body shake.

She had always known that she was nothing more than a tool for her father's career; it was hard not to know that with the life she led. But when they admitted that her best memories of her childhood, her warmth and joy in times of frigid and barren emotionless agony, were merely part of a larger ruse to kiss up to Ozai...

Her face burned. If she had been a firebender, her hands would probably be smoking, or perhaps they would have been engulfed in flames. She had never felt so used, so _humiliated_, in her entire life, not even when realising that Azula had been using her just like _they_ had...

Surprisingly, however, she didn't lose it. Not at first. "I said shut up," she repeated, her voice soaked in the venom of her rage. "Do you know why I'm marrying Zuko? It's because I _love_ him, not because I care about you, or your stupid career, or anything else you may have orchestrated. You were, and always are, the furthest thing from my mind when I make _any_ decisions that would affect my life."

She paused, taking a breath. Her parents had gone pale, and they were struck dumb by her words, like they were in shock. And dimly, she realised that they probably _were_ shocked; she had always been a willing tool, willing to do anything for them out of love and hope that they would see her... For her to suddenly shatter their illusion was probably mortifying.

_Good_, she thought. Slowly, she stood up. "There. You know about the wedding. You can come or not come as you choose." She leaned down and touched Tom-Tom on the top of his head lightly – it wasn't his fault, after all – before turning from her parents and walking away, not once looking back.

* * *

It was only when her feet touched the first few steps of the Palace staircase that her iron will broke, leaving her bereft and wounded, and the tears came. Only, to her humiliation and dread, they weren't her usual calm, silent tears that could be hidden by a lowered head and carefully placed bangs. Instead, they took the very breath out of her; she knelt on those steps, right in front of the two bemused guards, and actually _wailed_, her insides torn apart, her whole body shaking from the violence of her misery.

The tears of almost two decades' worth of smothering, of holding them deep within her heart, of being unable to cry even when she should have been able to... it all broke loose. Only now, because even though she was sad, she also knew that – finally – she actually _could_ cry, without having to worry about how it affected _others_. She could finally do it for _herself_.

She had no idea how long she cowered there, but it was long enough for Zuko not only to be pulled out of a meeting but also to run out and join her. He knelt down beside her, gathering her up in his arms like he always did, only with heart-breaking tenderness – as well as a deep understanding. He knew what it was like to have family fail you. He knew what it was like to always be used by people who should never use you.

She was a mess. She clung to him, her long nails digging into his shoulders like needles. Her tears soaked him, but she didn't stop. _Couldn't._

And Zuko held her, despite being dressed to the nines. He didn't flinch as his silk robes were reduced to worthlessness by her tears. And that spoke volumes to her.

For her mother would have scolded her.


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

Zuko had a far easier time telling his new family, the family he chose, about the wedding. In fact, he found that he didn't even _have_ to tell them.

He sent out missives by message hawk, asking for their presence without saying why. He made sure they knew it wasn't an emergency, but if they could come soon, it would be best.

Katara was the first to arrive. She was already in the Fire Nation, checking on the status of some town she had encountered in her travels. She wore Fire Nation clothes, but her hair and neck betrayed her as Water Tribe – she wore her traditional braid and necklace.

"Everything okay?" she wondered, sounding a little worried but a lot confused. She sat down when he offered, his sitting room within his apartments more than large enough to accommodate them both.

Zuko loved being dramatic – everyone, even Zuko himself, knew this. So it was hardly a surprise when he put off revealing his reason for the summons as long as he could.

"Where's Mai?" Katara asked, hoping to hurry it along.

"She's in the gardens," Zuko replied. He decided that now was a good time to not only serve some tea, but also order cakes, serve the cakes, and then enquire about the weather.

"Zuko," Katara broke in calmly, her eyes narrowed. "Spill it already."

"You're no fun," he answered, a trace sulkily.

"No, I'm not. Do it."

"_Fine_," he smiled, unable to keep it in; there was something about saying it that made him feel silly. "Mai and I are getting married."

"Oh," Katara blinked slowly, then sipped her tea. "And?"

Zuko stared. "That's it? That's your reaction?"

She smiled. "Oh, come on, Zuko," she replied with a laugh. "It was bound to happen, right? So, is it soon? Is that why I'm here?"

Her reaction should have prepared him, perhaps desensitised him. But Zuko was just that naive.

"Duh," Sokka said, sounding bored, his mouth full. "Can I have your fish?"

Suki sipped her tea with closed eyes, not saying a word. Instead, she looked incredibly smug.

"That's great!" Aang declared, throwing his arms up in the air, then around Zuko. "Expected, but great! It's about time, don't you think?"

"Bor-ring," was Toph's reaction. "Can I go now?"

Iroh, to his delight, hugged him, but also – not to his delight – showed no surprise. He ruffled Zuko's hair, patted his back, and said, his voice low and teasing, "Now I suppose we need to have 'the talk'."

Ty Lee's reaction was closer to what he wanted from everyone else, but since it was Ty Lee, it fell short. She squealed, threw her arms around him, and sort of wiggled in delight.

But then she ruined it. "I was getting bored waiting! You're so _slow_!"

It was even worse when it slipped out that Mai was the one who had asked Zuko, and not the other way around.

Sokka's laughter was loud, high-pitched, and lasted for an entire five minutes, probably echoing throughout the entire Palace. Suki declared it a record. She was unsurprised, however, which made Zuko wonder just what exactly she and Mai talked about all the time. It made his ears burn just thinking about it.

Aang gave Sokka a bemused look. "What's so funny about that?" he wondered.

Sokka couldn't answer; his faced was already soaked with tears.

"Sokka is a male chauvinist," Katara answered acidly. "He thinks that it's a_ man's_ job to propose."

He waved his hands, trying to say something, but Katara ignored him. "Because for _Sokka_, a girl shouldn't ask at _all_ – it's up to the _man_ to call the shots and decided when to get married. _Right_, Sokka?"

"Actually, I don't think that's why he's laughing," Mai said calmly. Toph nodded beside her, her arms crossed over her chest.

Zuko turned to her, his face scarlet. "Who cares _why_ he's laughing! He's still laughing!"

Mai looked at him with blank eyes. "Stop being so sensitive," she chided him lightly.

"_Hey_!" Sokka finally got out. "I'm not a sexist!"

"Don't be stupid," Suki said calmly. "Of course you are."

"No, _Suki_!" He waved his hands in the air. "I'm laughing because Zuko is _denser than wood_!"

Zuko snarled and leapt to his feet. Mai reached up and grabbed his hair, pulling hard. He yelped and winced, and she dragged him back to his seat.

Iroh reached over and placed a hand on his arm, his grip tight. "If you keep being this loud, the entire Palace will think that we're under some kind of attack. That would be embarrassing, would it not?

Zuko scowled, rubbing his head, and Iroh let go, chuckling deeply.

"I think it's great!" Aang declared, completely missing the point. "The first marriage in this new peacetime! The first of its kind in over a hundred years!"

"Yeah. Too bad it's you two," Toph replied. "The most awkward and gloomiest wedding in all of history."

Zuko's scowl deepened, especially when everyone laughed in agreement. "It won't be that way!" he protested.

"We're actually thinking of going traditional," Mai admitted.

"You sort of made that impossible by taking the lead, don't you think?" Sokka broke in.

"Shut up about that," Zuko snapped. "It's not a big deal. My mother proposed to my father!"

A silence met his words, as was usually the case when anyone, especially Zuko, mentioned Ozai.

"Speaking of which," Toph said easily, ignoring the tension. "Does Daddy-dearest know of your coming nuptials?"

"Toph, show some tact for once, won't you?" Katara hissed.

"No, it's a good question," Zuko said softly. "I don't mind."

"How is... your dad?" Aang wondered, his eyes darkening a shade.

Zuko shrugged one shoulder, looking away. "Okay, I guess," he muttered. "Still won't talk about my mother, still won't cooperate enough for anything else... Even if I tried to talk to him about this, I don't think I even want to. I'm... happy now. He has no place in my life now..."

Again his words were met with silence. Without meaning to, he had managed to remind them of how much he had changed; he was no longer the desperate young man chasing after his father's unattainable love. He had grown up, and changed.

Mai reached up and stroked his hair, smiling at him. "Okay," she said. "We don't have to go there."

"Still," Sokka said suddenly, sounding oddly sombre. When he was sure he had everyone's attention, he went on. "Zuko is, by far, denser than wood."

When Zuko lunged for him again, Mai let him.

* * *

"I get you, Knives."

Mai looked up, surprised. She hadn't heard Toph arrive, which was unusual; she usually could hear anyone – especially Toph – coming. However, she was still relatively shaky from the encounter with her parents (who still had yet to give an answer), so perhaps her nerves were just shot.

She watched as Toph invited herself into her chambers and fling herself casually onto the closest couch. She didn't mind, really, but she did wonder why Toph was here – she usually hung around Zuko when she visited.

"Oh?" was all she said, however.

Toph nodded, her face pointed in Mai's direction. "Yep. I know what it's like to be a pawn of your parents."

Mai felt her gut clench a little, but she pushed it away. "And how do you know that I have that problem?"

"Zuko told me," she answered casually. "He was worried about you. Thought I should talk to you."

Mai felt a little irked, but not enough to show it. "Why?" she wondered.

"Because, like I said; I know what it's like," Toph continued, lying back onto the couch and propping her feet on its arm. "You know how I can tell when someone's lying?" When Mai said nothing, she crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. "It's because of them. Whenever I heard them say they didn't have a daughter, their bodies betrayed them. I later realised it was the same for everyone."

"That's terrible," Mai murmured.

"So's being told that you can't even so much as _fart_ unless it helps your dad's career," Toph replied.

"Luckily it wasn't that bad," Mai smiled, unable to keep it in. "I could fart. Just silently."

Toph laughed, a great burst of a laugh. She turned back towards Mai, her smile huge. "You're pretty funny, Mai."

Mai shrugged, then realised Toph probably couldn't tell she had done it. "Whatever," she said.

There was a moment spent in silence, one that wasn't uncomfortable or awkward; it just was.

Toph broke it after a while, a finger in her nose. "So. Marrying Fireball, huh?"

"Yeah," Mai agreed. "He seems to think it's a good idea or something."

"Hmm..." Toph pulled out her finger, wiped it on the couch (Mai winced a little at that), then shoved it back in. For a moment, Mai wondered if Toph was actually disappointed in this – she and Zuko were, after all, really good friends.

Then Toph said, rather thoughtfully. "Does this mean you guys like... _do it_?"

Mai blinked slowly, her smile devious. "That depends on your definition. Would you like it by amount, time it takes, or position?"

Toph was silent, her face turning crimson. It was probably the first time someone had called her out on her words. It was enough to bring a laugh from Mai. Toph tried to laugh, nervously, scratching at her cheek. Once Mai was quiet, she said, her voice very soft, "So, uh…are you gonna tell me?"

Mai's laughter could be heard throughout the Palace.

* * *

Three days to the wedding, and Zuko was panicking already. Mai ignored him as he paced, back and forth in front of her, instead focusing on making tea for them both. _Vanilla, orange peel, a bit of peppermint..._

Zuko was muttering about the arrangements for the third time in a row. If Mai wanted, she could probably recite it with him, word for word. Instead, she carefully measured the ingredients together, her tongue between her teeth in concentration.

It was only when he snapped out, "Mai, are you listening?" and forced her to spill a couple of peppermint leaves that she looked up at him. "What?" she snapped back.

"I'm trying to plan the most important day of our lives and you aren't even listening!" he answered, throwing his arms up in the air and looking exasperated.

Mai rolled her eyes. "Blah blah blah, wedding, blah blah blah," she answered acidly.

"Nice, Mai, real nice."

She sighed. "What do you want from me, Zuko? We've gone over everything to the second, and yet you're acting like there's still room for failure. Everything will be _fine_."

"Okay, but what about your uncle? During the rehearsal he wouldn't stop glaring at me. And every time I walked by him, I swear, Mai, he _hissed_."

"There's nothing I can do about that, and besides, he held his tongue, didn't he?"

"Barely! And what about the Ceremony? Do you think it'll be too weird for everyone, having Sage Shyu read the rites? Should it have been Aang?"

"Sage Shyu is a capable man and has a very special history with you," Mai said, bored. "Aang is only fourteen – he's supposed to be at least sixteen before he can do anything like that, and besides, he agreed that Shyu was a great choice."

Zuko's fingers went to the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezing shut. "Security. We need to make sure there's security..."

"Suki's bringing her Warriors to act as guards, and we also have the usual colour party, as well. That should cover it." Mai was trying to measure her tea again as she spoke, so her words were a little distracted. "Plus, you know, pretty much everyone in your little gang is incredibly powerful..."

"Wait a second," Zuko strode over to the table she knelt in front of and sat in front of her, taking her gaze away from her activity. She scowled, but stopped when she saw his face – he looked confused. "Don't you like them?" he wondered.

Mai blinked. "What?"

Zuko blinked back. "'Your little gang'," was all he said. His eyes looked a little hurt. "After all this time, you still don't like them?"

"What?" Mai repeated, a little taken aback. The question was so sudden it threw her off-guard. "Yes, I do. I actually _really_ like them, Zuko," she smiled. It was true, after all. But she also knew that there was a kind of sadness in her smile. "I, uh, don't know if _they_ like _me_, however. You know, the whole 'trying to kill them' thing." She looked away. "Except maybe Suki, and maybe Toph. And probably Aang, maybe?"

The feel of Zuko's hand on her cheek made her look up again. He was worried, she knew, and she managed a shy smile. "Right?"

"They like you, Mai. Trust me." Zuko said it so confidently that she found she believed him. "I didn't exactly have the greatest start with them, either." He smiled goofily, and she laughed a little. "They forgave me... eventually." He winced. "Some taking longer than others, and some armed with sharp, painful water…"

"Katara took the longest, huh?"

He nodded. "Yeah. She took _forever_ to come around."

Mai smirked. "I can imagine. She's stubborn."

"Not as stubborn as her brother at times," he muttered. Mai laughed again, reaching forward and ruffling his loose hair roughly. He didn't fight her; he just laughed and squeezed his eyes shut.

When she pulled her hand away and turned back to her teapot, he leaned close, looking curious and far more relaxed than before. "What kind are you making?"

She smiled. "Mystery tea," she replied. "Go heat up the water and see for yourself."

"I'm not your water maid," he grumbled. Despite the protest, he got to his feet and filled the kettle with water, placing it on the coil burner and lighting the wood beneath it with a flick of his wrist.

"Thanks, Water Maid," she teased.

He grumbled again, this time joining her at her side on the floor. She pretended to ignore him, carefully measuring out enough ingredients for the both of them. He scooted closer, leaning against her side, putting his chin on her shoulder and gazing up at her with a slight pout. Without looking away, she reached out and lightly flicked his nose. He tried to catch her fingers, but she leaned out of his reach. He leaned with her, and she leaned _more_ away, until they both toppled over to the side, Zuko effectively pinning her to the floor.

"Ugh," she growled, not moving. "Off of me."

Zuko merely snuggled closer. He leaned down, leaning his weight on his hands and keeping himself inches from her, but only just. Mai looked up at him, blushing a little – she knew what that look in his eyes meant, and she couldn't help but react to it.

"Thank you, Mai," he said softly, leaning in close and whispering it into her ear. She closed her eyes, a little torn – she was glad he felt better, but she also realised that while she had teased him to get him to feel better, he had _known_ that she had done it for that reason.

"Meh," she muttered, cheeks burning. He nuzzled her ear, his lips warm, and she found herself rubbing her cheek against his in reply. "I'm just sick of listening to you whine."

"Mm..." Zuko leaned in closer, propping himself up on his elbows now, as his lips slid down to the curve of her neck. Mai leaned in, wrapping her arms around his waist, unable to resist it. Zuko raised his head, meeting her gaze, and she smiled wryly. "You can't even wait three days in order to make it official?" she wondered.

Zuko shifted a bit, blushing faintly – his movement made his answer clear enough for her, and she laughed, grabbed his face in her hands, and kissed him hard.

It was only the sudden wailing of the kettle that broke them apart, and even then, it was only to set it aside until later.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Zuko was shaking from head-to-toe, unable to stop. He hugged himself around the middle, trying to calm down, but it only made the shaking worsen.

"Zuko, buddy, take a breath," Sokka advised lightly, nudging him with his shoulder and sending him staggering a little. "She's still gonna marry you, if that's what you're worried about."

"Can't," was his terse reply.

Sokka rolled his eyes. It was the day of the wedding (_finally_, Zuko thought), and ever since Zuko had woken up, he had the shakes. Mai was worried – she actually wanted to call Katara to check on him – but he merely shook his head and said he was fine – a lie.

He _wasn't_ fine. He hadn't been this scared since he had to prepare for his coronation. He was shaking then, but he managed to stop it before he had had to speak.

This time, however, he knew it wouldn't be so easy.

"You have no idea, Sokka," he croaked out. "No idea. This is... huge. _So_ huge."

Aang frowned. "Of course it is," he agreed. "It's a wedding. What did you expect?"

Zuko scowled at him, about to say something really rude, but Iroh walking into the small, stuffy room stopped him. He was carrying a tray that held a small jar, teapot, and four teacups. All of the items on the tray were rather ornate and elaborate, and no one had ever seen them before. All three young men got to their feet as Iroh walked to them, and sat down again once Iroh himself was seated. Any banter was left abandoned.

Wordlessly, Iroh served the tea with a practised hand. Zuko watched him, wishing his uncle would offer a kind word, but this was a tradition, one of the oldest, and thus he had to wait.

"This specific blend goes back, longer than anyone can recall," Iroh said finally, his voice rich with the sobriety of the moment. "Some say it's older than time, but we all know for sure that it is sacred – and that on the day the Firelord weds, it is meant to be shared with him, and the men he loves."

Aang peered down at the cup curiously as Iroh poured. Sokka looked a little doubtful. Zuko merely stared at Iroh, waiting for the cue to drink.

But Iroh broke tradition, to his nephew's shock. "The power of tea, and brotherhood, is one thing," he said softly. "But it means much more when there is, without a doubt, an eternal bond. You three have it, and by sharing this tea, you promise to stay bound together. If you can do this, drink."

Aang reached forward and picked up his cup without hesitation. Iroh did the same. Sokka shot a silly look to Zuko before picking up his own.

Zuko, however, hesitated. "What if... you guys get hurt?" he whispered. "Or die? Because of me?"

"Then we will _haunt you_," Sokka snorted. Zuko glared at him, but Aang and Iroh laughed. "Stop being a Fret Lord," Sokka concluded.

Zuko sighed, closing his eyes. With shaking hands, he reached out and scooped up his cup. Together, they drank.

And collectively gagged, even Iroh. "It _tastes_ older than time!" Aang moaned.

"Ugh," Iroh muttered with a shudder. "Never got used to that."

"Brotherhood tastes _disgusting!_" Sokka yelped, dropping the cup and leaning away from it, clutching at his throat and making choking noises.

Aang winced, then tried drinking it again. He winced again. "Nope. It doesn't seem to get better the more you drink it."

Zuko scowled at his cup, then found himself smiling. It was so silly, and yet... it made him happy all the same.

* * *

"So much red," Ty Lee tsked. "And not a shred of pink in sight. It's so... unhappy!"

"What if I told you I was wearing pink underwear?" Mai wondered casually, sliding the black silk belt though the loops around her waist.

Ty Lee was instantly delighted. "Really? Can I see?"

Katara gaped at her, her hands full of Mai's hair, trying to shape it into an elaborate style suited for the day. "Are you kidding me?"

Toph briefly raised her head from untying the slippers that Katara had tied on, just moments before. "Looks pretty vibrant to me!" she observed cheerfully.

Suki giggled, reaching down and slapping Toph's hands away from her feet. Toph scowled and slapped back, but Suki was undeterred, her smile unmoving.

"Shut up," Mai replied to all of them, tying the belt once before pinning it in place with a brooch encrusted with garnets. "It's tradition. Stop being critical or I'll kick you all out."

Her fingers stumbled a little on the clasp. She muttered under her breath, using a couple of unladylike cursewords. She couldn't help it – while everyone was being really nice, she was still nervous. She didn't know why – nothing would really change between her and Zuko – and it bothered her that she still felt nervous despite knowing this.

A knock on the door scared everyone, except Toph, who had finally managed to rip off her slippers and could sense who was there. "Oh, it's _that guy_," she said.

The door opened and revealed a very polished-looking Koryu, standing there in elegant robes and a sleek topknot. He wore armour that represented his rank, and it was a good look for him, despite being so unexpected and a little weird.

Mai turned away from the mirror, forcing Katara's hands away from her tresses and causing the younger girl to grumble. She smiled widely. "Uncle Koryu!" she cried. "You're here!" She jumped to her feet, dodged Katara's hands, and bowed to him. Koryu merely came into the room and grabbed her into a hug, mocking her gently. "Bowing to your uncle as if I'm just a relative. Please."

It was understandable, Mai's reaction; her parents had, at the last minute, declined their invitation to the wedding due to an unexpected political conference. Which was a lie, Mai knew, because anything and everything within the government was suspended due to the wedding. But she let it go. She had to. They had made their choice, and there was no pushing it. She was tired of doing that, anyway.

Suki leaned back in her seat, her smile fading and her entire body practically radiating ice. Despite the fact that Koryu and Mai were close, Suki still had no love for the man who made her life hell for so many months.

Koryu seemed not only to sense this, but when his eyes met Suki's, he froze as well, instantly recognising her as the one person who had managed to best him on his own ground. He pulled away from Mai slowly, turning to face Suki. She narrowed her eyes, tensing as if expecting a conflict.

"Ah, you," Koryu said calmly. "The warrior-in-hiding. You and that miserable excuse for a Firelord made an ass out of me. Did you know that?"

Suki shrugged. "Maybe I got an inkling."

Koryu scowled, but Ty Lee, either sensing trouble or wanting attention, squeezed herself between them and hugged the older man tight, shrieking out, "Warden Koryu!"

"Whoa," he wheezed. "Which one are you? Ming La? Zai Lo?"

Ty Lee pouted. "You know it's me, Ty Lee!"

Mai couldn't help but smile. Ty Lee was one of the few who knew about her close relationship with her uncle (Azula knew, but didn't care too much). And for Ty Lee, anyone who cared about her friends was a friend of hers instantly.

And obviously, Koryu recognised her and got a kick out of teasing her, Mai observed with a smirk.

"What's wrong with all of you?" Koryu suddenly boomed out, startling everyone around him. "Why aren't you talking my niece out of marrying that whelp?"

"Uh," Katara spoke up, "because she loves him?"

The other girls nodded sagely around Mai, who was rolling her eyes. "Plus it's _so cute_!" Ty Lee added.

"Oh, all of you just shut up," Mai growled, reaching up and trying to fix her hair, turning her back to them. "Uncle, you can't change my mind – everyone else, you're annoying, so shut up."

There was a brief silence. Then Toph said, "You know how couples start sounding alike after a while?"

Mai whipped the hairbrush at her. She missed, but only just.

* * *

Zuko was still shaking when he was led to the dais. He looked around him and saw that the entire platform was adorned in festive and beautiful decorations – dragons, lanterns, ribbons – the works. But his attention didn't stay on the decorations for long.

From the other side, walking to meet him, was another sight that was resplendent in red – Mai. She was a vision, all ruby fire and inky hair, and it was soothing to see her, but... despite this, the sight of her only made his shaking worsen, just a bit.

To their credit, the crowd was pretty quiet, even more so when Zuko and Mai made their way across the platform to meet each other in the middle. Shyu stood calmly, flanked by Iroh and Aang on one side and Koryu on the other. Both Aang and Iroh looked absolutely delighted, but Koryu was glowering certain death at Zuko, and he couldn't help but gulp a little.

Mai's eyes met his, and when she smiled, a small and catlike gesture, he felt his heart jump a little. The doubts – _fears_ – that swirled around in his gut only worsened, but his heart was easy to placate. He focused on her. Together, they bowed to each other, then knelt before Shyu.

The Sage was speaking, reading from the worn scroll in his hands, and then Aang was saying something as well – stuff about spirits, love, dragons... pale things, meaningless. Mai's cheeks were pink, and he loved that, loved seeing her blush, such a small sign that she wasn't choking her feelings. She watched him from the corner of her eyes. _Can she tell I'm scared?_ It was pretty obvious that he was trembling...

He longed to touch her, to hold her hand, to touch her warm cheeks or say something snide in her ear about the phrasing of the ceremony. But even he found himself unable to ignore the weight of the ceremony's meaning. So he just looked at her, took her all in, and noticed that she was doing the same.

More words, about love, marriage and peacetime – new vows, Aang's doing, Zuko suspected, but they fit, they matched, they echoed his heart and translated what he would have struggled to say.

At Shyu's soft command, Zuko and Mai rose. They bowed to him, to the crowd, and then to each other, before – shyly, for both of them – closing the distance and kissing.

When he wrapped his arms around her, even though he hadn't seen a hint of it, he felt the telltale bumps of knives and shuriken that were fastened to her body underneath her clothes. For some reason, it comforted him, more than the taste of her lips, and he felt some of the trembling and fear ease.

Mai, his wife. She reached up and tugged on his topknot, smiling slyly, as a cacophony of elated cheers filled his ears. He smiled at her. She smiled wider.

A start.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

"Where _are_ they?" Sokka groaned, eyeing his empty plate in dismay. "I'm _starving_."

Toph clutched at her chest. "_Wow!_ That's the first time I've _ever_ heard you say that!"

"Ha, ha," Sokka grumbled in reply to the laughs that met Toph's words. It was a downgraded version of the celebratory feast that took place for the people gathered outside. Zuko and Mai were with the crowd, making a mandatory appearance and eating a few bites before returning to the Palace for a more private dinner with friends and family.

The thing was, though, that they were already a half-hour late. And when a group of people were forced to wait for too long, especially when hungry, things tended to get… silly.

Iroh and Koryu sat face-to-face, flanking the two loudly decorated chairs at the head of the table. As the younger generation teased and cajoled each other, the two older men conversed amicably.

Sort of.

Koryu's head was in his hands, slowly shaking from side to side in dismay. Iroh was sipping some tea calmly, looking a quiet kind of elated.

"I can't believe she married him," Koryu was muttering over and over (and over and over) again.

Iroh raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And why is that?"

Koryu's fingers laced themselves into his hair, tugging a little. "I raised her to be smarter than that!"

"Warden," the other man said calmly, "when you decided to take Mai into your guidance, did you not expect her to make mistakes, ones you knew you would not like, but ones she would no less learn from?"

"Umph," Koryu's grunt was an obvious confirmation.

"And, judging from her past encounters with my niece and my brother, she certainly has grown into a well-mannered and intelligent woman who has clearly grown from her mistakes."

"Mmph."

"Thus, my point," Iroh gently placed his teacup onto the table in front of him. "You must have faith in your niece's decisions, even if you find them mistakes. Being an uncle is difficult to someone you have realised is more like your own, especially to strong-willed young adults," he chuckled a little. "Mai has not made a mistake, Warden. One look at her face and her eyes and you can see the transformation. She is a woman, now."

Koryu groaned, his forehead clunking down onto the table abruptly. Iroh chuckled again, realising that it wasn't _just_ Zuko that was causing Koryu's upset; it was the fact that his little niece was grown up.

The sound of the doors opening cut all conversation off, and the topic of the discussion strode in together, looking tired but oddly pleased with themselves for some reason. They froze in their steps when everyone rose to their feet and embarrassed the daylights out of them with catcalls and crass comments. When they sat down and the servers came with their food, Sokka dove into the meal without preamble, and pretty soon everyone else was following suit.

"So, uh…" Aang was saying, poking at his potato-and-leek soup with an air of shyness, his gaze on Katara, who sat in front of him. "So…"

"Hm?" she blinked, her mouth full of komodo-chicken.

"Uh…" He went pink, even his ears. "Would you ever consider marriage?"

Katara started choking on her chicken until Haru slapped her back.

From the other end, Sokka was addressing something similar. "What do you think about it?" he wondered, his words muffled by food.

Suki blinked up at him. "Uh, nothing really," she admitted between mouthfuls.

Sokka stared at her. She blinked again. "What?"

"Don't _all_ girls think of marriage" he wondered.

Suki rolled her eyes. "I was too busy training to be a warrior, Sokka. I didn't have time to dream up a perfect man."

Sokka suddenly grinned, his eyebrows waggling. "I'm not a dream, baby – I'm _real."_

"Oh, gag me."

"What, you don't want to marry me? You don't want to wear a necklace I spend hours carving _just for you_, as proof of my love and devotion to you?"

Suki sniffed. "Nope," she replied. "Besides, on Kyoshi, a Warrior's the one who proposes. The man is _never_ supposed to approach a Warrior _ever_."

"Oh, yeah, I heard about that," Ty Lee piped in. "Wasn't it because Kyoshi herself never married, even after having her daughter?"

Suki nodded. "She had a consort, not a husband. I plan to follow her example."

"_A consort?"_

She ignored Sokka's indignant shriek. "Of course. I'm the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors. I have to provide an example, don't I?"

From the middle of the table, Toph groaned. "Marriage talk is _so boring._"

Both Teo and the Duke nodded sagely. Teo, however, also smiled. "It's kind of beautiful, though, don't you think?"

The Duke made gagging noises while Toph clutched at her throat. Teo scowled. "You guys are no fun," he muttered, his arms crossed.

"So," Iroh nudged his nephew with an elbow gaily. "How do you find married life so far?"

Zuko reddened, his eyes on his plate. "Tiring. I hate audiences."

Mai snorted. He looked over with surprise. She stared at him in disbelief. "You were completely hamming it up out there!" she said, her voice thick with ridicule. "Waving and grinning and nodding like a _dork._"

"Haha, _Dork Lord,"_ Sokka broke in helpfully, before dissolving into laughter.

Zuko glowered. "I was being _nice_," he snapped.

"Ham," Mai replied.

"_Nice!"_

Iroh laughed, a great and mighty laugh, in reply to this. Koryu was watching silently, his face carefully blank. The newlyweds went back and forth in banter for a while, until Mai reached over and shoved a finger up Zuko's nose, forcing a shout and more laughs from both Iroh and Mai and anyone else watching.

There was no missing the glow in Mai's eyes, nor was there any avoiding the lingering looks to Zuko or the fact that she was constantly touching him in some way, either casually or blatantly. Koryu had to admit that he hadn't seen her this happy since she was ten and had managed to throw six knives in succession into a practise dummy's crotch.

_Damn,_ he thought. Now he _had_ to try and forgive Zuko, just for getting Mai to smile like that again. The _bastard._

* * *

They celebrated well into the night, even though it wasn't exactly orthodox or expected. There were games, drinking, shouting, and at one point a fight between Zuko and Koryu (due to aforementioned drinking). It was only when the Duke fell asleep after overdosing on sugar pastry that Zuko decided to call it a night (or rather, Mai pointed the Duke out to him, and he got embarrassed and told everyone to "get out"). Everyone was given a room to stay in within the Palace, and everyone was either dragged away or staggered out on their own.

Zuko was dragged by Mai, who staggered. He was mumbling about something – _oh, turtle-ducks and how soft they are – _and giggling about it. Mai rolled her eyes; Zuko was even dorkier when he was tipsy, something she hadn't known about until that night. She decided, right then and there, that she _hated_ alcohol.

She dragged both Zuko and herself into their chambers… and saw that it had been _decorated_, in advance, for the celebration. _Bleck,_ she thought with a scowl, grabbing hold of Zuko and pushing him onto the bed. He actually sang out, "_Weee!"_ before landing on the bed, laughing as he bounced a bit on the mattress.

Mai sat down beside him, looking down at him. He lay on his back, his hair coming loose from its topknot, his arms and legs spread out with abandon. He smiled up at her, cheeks red, and her scowl deepened.

"So," she said, her voice flat, "are you going to tell me why you're shaking like a leaf, or do I have to smack it out of you?"

Zuko's eyes widened, the smile instantly dashed from his face. His mouth opened, then closed, pressing his lips into a thin line. He said nothing. She glared, saying nothing in return. They held this stalemate for several minutes before Zuko sighed, turned away, and muttered, "Scared."

Mai leaned in, putting a hand to his still-trembling shoulder. "Of?"

"This."

"Too late for doubts, Zuko."

He sat up quickly, knocking her hand away as a result. "_No_," he snapped. "I'm not scared about _us_. I'm scared about _this_."

Mai sighed, trying to keep her frustration in. "Elaborate."

He shut his eyes, wordlessly reaching over and grabbing her hands into his. His fingers trembled, and she instinctively rubbed them gently, trying to get them to stop. He sighed deeply, leaning in and pressing his forehead to hers, eyes still closed.

"You're out in the open, now," he admitted finally. "When you weren't my wife, you were out of harm's way. You couldn't be seen, or tracked, or _anything_. Now, anyone who wants to hurt you can. Because you're out in the open, at my side. You're exposed. I'm scared. I can't lose you, Mai."

She reached up and touched his hair, slowly undoing the topknot and setting the hairpiece aside. He slid his arms around her waist, leaning down and burying his face into her shoulder, exhaling sharply. She stayed quiet, knowing he had more to say.

"I… I thought I had lost you, before," he murmured as she stroked his hair, combing it loose with her fingers. "I had thought… when we left the prison, I had thought that your uncle would protect you from Azula… and then Katara told me, reminded me, how callous Azula could be… and I…" His hands gripped onto her back tightly. "I… can't. I can't…"

"Shush," she whispered. He choked, clutching at her harder. "Why are you crying over something that never happened, Zuko?"

He didn't answer. He couldn't. He trembled, clinging to her, but he said nothing.

"Idiot," she chided softly into his burned ear, kissing it gently. "I could kick _your_ ass and anyone else's. Worry about yourself. You should be happy that you have _me_ to protect _you_."

Zuko choked out a small laugh that ended in a cough. She smiled, leaning over him and nuzzling him softly. "Stop being a baby, please," she teased. "Or I'll _really_ give you something to cry about."

He laughed again, louder this time. He looked up with shiny eyes and a bright smile, reaching up with feather-light fingers and touching her cheek.

The trembling had stopped.

"Whatever happens, we're stuck together," she added, closing her eyes from his caress. "Like it or not."

"Hey. I like it," he protested.

"Prove it."

So he did. And he didn't stop proving it to her for tens of decades. She found she didn't mind too much.


End file.
